The Princess: a GLOG class

The Princess

by CyberChronometer, with respect
to Randall Munroe

 

    Princesses are, at heart, scientists. They listen and observe and feel and think in ways that others do not. A witch is a force of nature, who knows with a primal power and either shapes the story like a rock breaks a river's flow or who guides the others with the constant wisdom of the stars guiding the swans each winter. A knight is made of action- they accept a quest or shoulder a duty or fulfill a prophecy, but they drive the story with their deeds, and are unshakeable from the path they are set upon. But a princess... she thinks. When the witch places a curse, the princess figures out its secret. When the king gives an impossible quest, the princess devises a clever solution. When the world is set against love and the knight despairs, the princess thinks to herself, "This is a dark time- but I have survived dark times, and so have my sisters." Each time a princess is pricked by a spindle or trapped in a tower or poisoned by an apple or married to a lindwurm, she writes down her story in a book- and every fairy tale teaches the next princess how to be a little bit wiser.

The Princess

Starting Skills: Singing and one of - 1) Weaving & sewing 2)Dutifulness 3)Ancient Languages 4)Hairdressing 5)Swordplay 6)Statecraft

Starting Equipment: A brightly-colored dress, extremely impractical shoes, hair down to the floor, a small knife that can be hidden easily, a polished copper handmirror, innocence (as studded leather against non-witches)

A: Heir of Magic, Hair of Ingenuity, +1 MD
B: Applied Theory
C: Knight-Errant, Shield of Love
D: Coronation

Heir of Magic: You automatically fail any save made against a hostile magical effect, prophecy, or curse. When you write down a detailed account of your experience later, you gain a Glimmer. You may spend one Glimmer to make a save against magic, even if it doesn't usually allow a save (at -2 if so). You may spend four Glimmers to learn how to cast a spell as it affects you, the full text and subject of a prophecy that you have heard of, or how to break a curse that affects you or a loved one. 

Hair of Ingenuity: Your hair functions as fine rope. You can cut twenty feet of hair per day, which magically regrows each morning. You are adept at complex knot-work and can weave baskets, slings, and other such tools out of your hair. While on your head, no force can cut your hair but your own hand and your own knife, and when tied, woven, or strung by your own hand it can be cut by no force but magic or true love.

Applied Theory: When you acquire this template, when you marry someone for the first time, when you kill a witch for the first time, and when you reclaim your throne for the first time, roll on the Princess Charm list. You learn the ritual for that entry, or the one above or below if you already have it.

Knight-Errant: Any knight you encounter falls madly in love with you. They will defend your honor against challengers, keep any promises made to you with their life, and drop in at inopportune moments with strange gifts. If you meet another knight while one is in love with you, you must either denounce one, who will retire to become a beet farmer and never again know happiness, or they will duel to the death. Once a day, you may sing out an open window to call a new knight to you.

Shield of Love:  If at least one person currently loves you truly, whenever you would die, there is a 3-in-6 chance someone who loves you truly appears suddenly and leaps in front of the harm. They die  with your name on their lips.

Coronation: You immediately gain the A-template of Monarch and the A-template of any class with MD other than Princess, such as Witch, Sidhe, or Dragon. You may not gain experience for these classes, but may advance them through dramatically appropriate accomplishments, such as conquering a nearby kingdom for Monarch or devouring a maiden's heart for Witch.

Princess Charms:

1. Feather Cloak: Gather seven hundred and seventy-seven feathers, shed from migrating birds, and weave them into a cloak clasped by a golden chain. Twirling that cloak about your shoulders, you may transform into a migratory bird for as long as you wear the cloak, and return to your natural form by taking it off. Any who see your cloak understands magically that stealing it would grant them a boon from you, which you would be compelled to give. Traditionally, they ask for marriage.
2. True Love's Kiss: Grind in a pestle a rose as bright as blood, a cord of your hair soaked in your tears, and a stone from a stream whose source is as cold as a faerie's heart. Keep the paste in a brass tin and wear it as lipstick. Your kiss can break simple curses, enchantments, illusions, and shapechanges. Whoever you kiss falls deeply in love with you for as long as they were affected by the magic.
3. Heart's Door Charm: Find a white rabbit who will agree to help you and who you trust without reservation. Cut out your heart with a silver scalpel and the rabbit will hide it within his own. As long as it is hidden, you cannot fall in love even by magic, you cannot be affected by enchantments, and you may hide one person within the space that was once a heart by embracing them. They are completely undetectable until you release them with a whisper. Do not allow the rabbit to be caught.
   
4. Ring of Common Sense: Twine a mother's knowing smile around a sprig of sage, then rub a silver ring between your fingers until it shines, and the reflection of the smile-and-sage is trapped within the silver. Once a day, twist the ring thrice around your finger and you will instantly know what is wrong with the situation or room you are in. You will feel a pea beneath twenty cushions, hear the trick in the riddle (though not its answer), see the wizard's smile underneath his beggar's rags, or smell the obligation in a Fae's gift. If anyone ever finds out you discovered this information through anything but common sense, the ring dulls and breaks.
5. Dragon-Taming Whip: Soak a leather whip in lye and fine alcohol, then tell it one thousand apologies and ask it to be gentle. If you've done it right, it will consent. A dragon or suitably large terrible monster whipped by this weapon will have its skin and hide opened by long gashes that do not bleed. After five lashes on a Large creature, ten on a Huge, or twenty on anything larger, it will shed its skin and hide and curse and reveal a handsome, naked prince who will ask your hand in marriage. He will make a fine husband, kind, courteous, and having only small fangs. The weapon deals no damage to any other creature, as it kisses and apologizes and does not break the skin.
6. Slippers of Purest Glass: Wash a pair of silk slippers in the river until their color is gone, then speak to them of fashionable balls and grand courts and noble lords until they get their act together and stiffen up into glass. When you tap your heels together when wearing them, you may transform your clothes into anything you can imagine, and a mask appears on your face that protects you from any attempt, magical or mundane, of discovering who you are. At midnight, the spell breaks, and the shoes don't work again until you tell them a story of a time you fell in love.